The Curse of the Bambino

Two things that don't happen very often collided this weekend.  First, Geno and I had the opportunity to go to a yoga class together, sans bebe.  (Thank you abuelos.)  Second, to celebrate the first, we felt we should do something really special and really adult to mark our time alone.  So, especially since we were headed to yoga, we decided it made all the sense in the world to spend the entire drive there using every curse word known to humankind.  That's exactly what you thought I was going to say, right?

Neither of us swears that much to begin with, (except for the occasional cursing of insane drivers or tennis opponents), but there's something about having a kid who you don't want to swear around that makes you really enjoy a good cursing session.  (We're trying to avoid the situation that a friend of a friend of mine had when her three year old asked her, "When are we going to f-ing Grandma's house?") 

So, in addition to listing out all of our favorite curse words, we also quoted our favorite music or movie lines that involve swearing.  Geno offered, "Whatever the f#$@, whatever" from Training Day, and my personal favorite is from the break in the Iowa fight song when the whole crowd chants, "We're gonna beat the f#$@ out of you, and you, and you, and you and you and you!"

I think our "conversation" really put us in the right frame of mind for yoga, because both of us rocked the s#%! out of that savasana, m$^&# - f$^&@#.

You are Getting Very Sleeeeeepy...

What would a blog by a new mother be without at least one post dedicated to sleep, or lack thereof? 

When I was pregnant, I was more anxious about the impending sleep deprivation than anything labor related.  I've always been the type of person who needs at least 8 hours of sleep a night to stay healthy, and I was certain that being up all night would not only be hard, but actually make me sick.  Thankfully, though, my body miraculously adjusted to being up at all hours of the night, and caffeine and fancy undereye cover have constantly been at my fingertips, so I've managed to stay healthy and look relatively "rested."  (Note- if you're looking for a different type of baby shower gift, let me strongly recommend Touche Eclat!)

Despite possibly looking rested, let me just say, I am t-i-r-e-d.  Now that Mateo is almost one year old, I can safely say that my child is not a sleeper.  He's shown sparks of the type of sleep schedule that I hear other people's children have, but this kid has only slept 12 straight hours one night of his life.  (Although I will give him props for a recent 11 hour 45 minute night.)  At this point, I think we've tried it all: crying it out (aka extinction, which is a supremely disturbing name), graduated extinction, nursing, not nursing, hugging it out, lots of naps, only a few naps, rum, okay no rum -but I've been tempted.  The results have been scatter shot at best, and those darn teeth don't make our efforts any easier.

I know that some mythical day he will be 16 and we won't be able to get him out of bed, but that feels like a couple lifetimes away.  I will say though, that I haven't reached the point where I've driven into a city bus, which I recently heard some sleep deprived mom did.  (In my case, it would be a snow drift.) 

I guess my bottom line is this:  How can I get a night nurse to move into my house for free?

11 Months

Once again, noting that this monthly letter to Mateo is not my idea, and a really good idea...

Querido Mateo,

If I've said it once, I've said it a million times: humans should be born with teeth.  I know, I know, there would be some occupational hazards for your breastfeeding mother, but right now, the risk looks worthy.  We are pretty sure that there are some molars in the works for you, but at the bare minimum, you have two more top teeth almost in.  Eventually this will be great because it will expand your solid food options, but in the meantime, it has wreaked havoc on your little digestive system.  To cope with the the side effects we've taken to giving you milk baths, which I think you find fascinating, as your splashing quotient has redoubled.  (Inanely, I can't help but sing "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard" when you go crazy with the splashing.  Da-da-da-da-daaa.)

In more upbeat news, this month marked the beginnings of some pretty exciting changes on the horizon.  We met with your to-be teacher for when you start "school" in September.  She is warm and kind, and you took to her right away.  It will be tough on me those first couple of days that I drop you off, but knowing that she will be caring for you and about you will make it so much easier.  We also finally decided to find an occasional babysitter to take care of you, and once again, I think we are all in agreement that she is really terrific.  Not only did you try to scale her, but you couldn't stop flashing her your increasingly winning smile, one that looks a little like this:

As for the walking-talking update, you are loving "uh-oh."  Of course, accidentally dropping something has very little to do with the word.  It's pretty hilarious when you're in your highchair and purposely throw food over the side to Maximus, and the split second before actually letting go of the food, yell out "uhhhh-oh." Maximus, as a result, is now deeply in love with you.  Here he is, trying to make out with you:

Walking-wise, you're not quite there yet, but you're interested in testing your balance, and have now perfected both pulling yourself up on things and getting down.  (The down part is relief for all of us!)  Here's a nice pic of you standing from a recent playdate with Savanh, both of you looking guilty.  (Please, remember that even if I'm not there, you're totally busted.) 

And finally, no summary of this month would be complete without a mention of the weather.  We have been completely slammed by storm after storm this month.  The good news is that this has meant more time for us to spend together as a family (the beauty of working for educational institutions), but I think you dad wants you to start pulling your weight around here and help with the shoveling! 

I love you,
Mamamamama

Variations on a Theme

You know how some weeks you're very focused, and others you're all over the place?  This week has been one of the latter for me.  I'm not sure if the tedium of winter is to blame, but what the heck, why not place the blame at the feet of Mother Nature, that icy snow queen. 

Thanks to the non-stop winter storms we've had here in the Northeast, lately I've spent an inordinate amount of time in my car.  Just yesterday morning it took me almost two hours to go 10 miles!  Some of the time I have Mateo along with me, but after I drop him off, I usually have a minimum of 30 minutes (on a good day) of driving to do to get to work.  When he's along for the ride we usually spend the time singing or talking (Me: Look at the snow!  Mateo:  Mamama. Ball. Uh-oh. AHHHHHH!) - but once I'm alone, I switch between NPR and a variety of music stations.  Which leads me to the random list of thoughts I've recently had while stuck on the highways and streets of Greater Hartford:

1. Is Ke$ha a theologian disguised in hotpants?  I tend to think so because her new song not only states that she has Jesus on her neck-a-lace, but the refrain of "We are who we are," is pretty darn close to "I Am Who I Am."  (Which is a variation of YHWH in Hebrew, which is Yahweh, which is another name for, say it with me, God.) 
2. Am I really supposed to believe that scientists can devise an experiment that proves that prairie dogs have the language skills to communicate differences between colors and sizes?  I want to believe, and yet...
3. If I had to choose a member of the opposing party to sit with at the State of Union, under normal circumstances it would be Olympia Snowe, but her name strikes a little too close home at the moment.
4. I wonder if any of my childhood friends remember the trend in 6th grade to come to school with frozen hair...  (I tried to leave the house with my hair wet so that it would freeze on my walk to school, but of course my mother put a stop to that immediately, thereby rendering me so uncool, and pneumonia free.)
5. Is it Steve Inskeep or Steven Skeep?  Is it Mara Liason or Mar Aliason? 

Let me know if you have the answers to any of these burning, burning questions. 

Word to Your Madre

There were a few words and phrases in my childhood home that were absolutely forbidden.  Aside from the normal ban on cursing, the word "sucks," and using "God" inappropriately, under no circumstances were my sister and I ever to say "shut up."  As a sixth grader, I was quite certain that I was amongst the oppressed people of the earth because of my parents' firm stance on this phrase.  It's not that I necessarily wanted to tell my parents to shut up, but on occasion, (sorry Deborah), I really wanted to tell my sister to zip it in less than polite terms.  My mother, however, was determined that ours would be a household where polite behavior was not reserved just for strangers and elders.  And thus, telling anyone to "shut up," even my little sister, was completely unacceptable.

I've thought about this a lot the past week given the uproar our country has been in over civility (or the lack thereof) in our political discourse, and as I mentioned last week, the re-wording of Huck Finn.  No matter what your political persuasion, it's clear that we all care deeply about words.  Some of us care more about the freedom to use them however we see fit, and others of us care more about content -but the bottom line is that we imbue words with power.

Now that I am the parent of a child on the precipice of talking, I feel like I now am even more aware of words and what they mean.  I hope to teach Mateo to use his words in a way that is respectful, thoughtful and civil.  Part of that learning curve, as my parents showed me by the shut up ban, is that for those values to take hold in the public sphere, they have to be practiced at home.  Or, as President Obama so eloquently said in Tucson, "how we treat one another is entirely up to us."

To that, I say word.  And Mateo says ball.

Schmuck Finn

There isn't much politically that Geno and I disagree on, except for the intricacies of the freedom of speech.  Generally I'm all for it, even when I find the speech to be horrible, hateful and disagreeable.  Generally Geno is for it too, except for when it inches too close to being racist, sexist and hateful speech; then he wants the perps put on lock down.  (Please note that I'm not down with hate speech, but seem to have a higher threshold for the ugly than he does.)  This has made for some very lively kitchen table debates over the years.

Imagine then, my surprise, when I found myself not being outraged by the recent revisions Prof. Alan Gribben made to Mark Twain's classic, "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn."  Gribben went through the book, and changed all 219 mentions of the n-word to slave.  It's not that I think it's necessarily a good idea, but for a book that is one of the most frequently banned in schools and libraries, I wonder if this new version might create the opportunity for youth to read it that otherwise might not do so.  It's too early to tell if high schools that would not allow the original "Huck Finn" to be taught in their classrooms will embrace this new version, but I just keep on wondering if it's a possibility.  (The caveat I'd like to throw out there, however, is that any teaching of this book absolutely should address the issues of slavery and racism, and the historical attitudes towards both.)

I think that perhaps my new found tolerance for what many are calling censorship, is that while this is a freedom of speech issue, it also feels like a question of compromise.  The older I get, the more I see facets of life that require us to give up something in order to move towards a larger goal.  Believe me, I can be hardheaded and even strident when it comes to some of my beliefs, but aren't there some times when you have to tiptoe out onto that slippery slope, despite the risk? 

Discuss amongst yourselves...

10 Months

One of the inspirations for starting my blog was reading my friend Beth's husband's cousin's wife's blog.  Got that?  Jill chronicles her adventures with her daughter, Edie, who is now a toddler.  (Check her out at: Jill's Daily Note.)  One of the best features of Jill's blog is her monthly letter to Edie, in which she describes Edie's developments and changes in the past month.  So, now having paid my due respects to Jill, I'd like to copy her concept and write a little ode to a certain 10 month old I know.

Querido Mateo,

Can you say mamadadapapababawawa?  Yes, yes you can.  I'm not sure that any of these "words" are actually connected to people or objects yet, but it is so fun to hear you say mama.  (In fact, it seems to be your sounds of choice to serenade me with on our daily drive to Abuela's house.) 

This month has been huge for you in terms of your physical and social development.  After almost two months of crawling backwards and sideways, you finally figured forward out.  So exciting!  We have had to do a lot of baby proofing now that you can accurately get from Point A to Point B, but it's so worth it.  You can barely contain your excitement as you crawl towards us, leaving only a trail of drool behind you as you go.  We don't expect it to be long before you're walking, as you love to pull yourself up on anything you can get hold of and seem to think you can already take steps on your own.  (You recently got your first bruise, due in part to taking a step that caught us all by surprise.) 

Here you are playing with you brother from another mother, Savanh.

Teething also continues to be a regular part of each week.  I swear those teeth are popping out all over!  So far you have 7 that have completely come in, but 3 more are currently in the works.  As a result, you now have to wear a bib basically all day long, or you would be soaked in drool.  It's also made for some interesting choices in things you like to gnaw on.  (Books seem to be your number one choice.)  Having so many teeth is good though, because you are really getting into chewing your food.  It won't be long before you're eating corn on the cob, I'm certain of it.

Socially, you've really blossomed this month.  If Whole Foods were ever to hire greeters a la Walmart, yours would be the first application they would receive.  You love going to the grocery store and smiling/laughing at everyone you see.  Other stores and restaurants are fun too, but there's something about the grocery store and sheer numbers of people that makes you squeal with delight.  On the flip side, however, you've now started with the age-appropriate development of separation anxiety, which means squeals of non-delight when I leave the room.  (Part of me finds this really endearing, but part of me finds it deafening.)

Check out that smile and those teeth!

This month was also such a fun time for you with family.  In mid-December we celebrated ThanksChristmaKuh with all the Ayalas, and you got to go on a very cool train ride to the "North Pole." (Where we all, including you, contracted a mild form of the plague.  But boy was that train fun!)  Then in late December, your Grandpa Mike and Grandma Mary came to Connecticut to celebrate Christmas with us.  You had a ton of fun getting to see your grandparents in 3D (as opposed to the 2D of Skype), and even got to spend time with all your grandparents at once.  What a lucky boy!

Now you're on to your second calendar year (from 2010 to 2011), and in a few short months will turn the big 0-1.  Can you believe it?!  Me neither.

I love you sweetheart,
Mami