Discipline

About a year ago I wrote about how a friend told me how surprised she was at my parenting style because she thought I'd be strict, but instead I was a freaking push-over.  Truth be told, it was a true, (though way harsh, D,) assessment.

Well now - I'm sure Mateo would beg to differ.

Don't get me wrong, he's a really good kid.  A two year old, of course, so it's mayhem half the time, but he's a good listener and very sweet.  As far as I'm concerned though, furniture should not be jumped on, food should be eaten at a table, and for the love of God, fingers should not be put inside the dogs' mouths.

It's not particularly shocking, or fascinating, that this is where I'm at now.  But what I do find really interesting is that I find it much easier to be a disciplinarian with Mateo than Geno does.  And I know we're not alone in this dynamic.  More than a few women friends have told me about how their husbands either refuse to discipline their kids, or have pretty intense internal struggles over it.

Maybe these 30, 40 and 50 something dudes grew up with super strict dads and now they are processing how to handle it with their own children.  In our family, I think that may be the case.  (For those of you who know my father in law, I know it's impossible to imagine him being strict with anyone, even for a minute... ah, the freedom grandparenting brings!)

Maybe I'm reading too much into this, and clearly there are exceptions to every rule -not to mention all sorts of family configurations.  But that being said, this pop-psychologist think there's a there, there.  (Pop, ha.)

Yes?  No?

Maine

When Geno and I got engaged we were living in Jersey City, working in THE city, and very clear on the fact that we wanted to get married in Connecticut.  (In large part because we were very clear that we wanted to be living in Connecticut, like, yesterday.)  Shortly thereafter we set an October date in our little nutmeg haven.

Then, the stars aligned and we actually did to move to Connecticut.  And then I got a new job.  And then I realized that it was going to be really tricky to change my last name after just one month of working.  Plus there was the whole buying a house thing.

So - to make the logistics work -we decided to get all European and have a civil ceremony before the actual wedding.  Lucky us, our friends' cousin is a justice of the peace in Maine, and was down(easter) for making us legal.  With our parents' blessing, we drove up to Biddeford, ME, and in the early evening on the beach, surrounded by our friends Connie, Souki, Meghan and Caleb, lobster, blueberries and beer, we were pronounced hitched.  

That was five years ago, two weeks from now...  And this weekend, (after our Boston sojourn), we took Mateo to Maine for the first time.  Lucky us.

Riding the rails along the coast

This is always how I think of Maine - an island with fir trees

Five years - and from 2...

...to 3!

Playing around

Geno and "his" boat

Cracking open the lobstah

Beware of the wildlife

Ooh- this is fun!

Chilling on the streets of Portland

Love these two hooligans

Boston

I lived in Boston for six years.  The first three, (while in Divinity School), I didn't really take living in the city seriously.  I figured it was just a blip in time and despite finding the city really beautiful, it never, ever felt like home.

Then I decided to go to law school in Boston, so I figured if I was going to make it through three more years, I had to do something drastic.  This led to my now-infamous-in-my-family personal regime of "I'm going to make myself love Boston, god#$@it."  Clearly, this meant becoming a Red Sox fan, among other risk-taking behaviors.  Conveniently, this was in late 2003.  (Of course the infamy of this decision lies in the rabid Yankee-ness of anyone with the last name Ayala.)

I've been back to Boston lots since graduating from law school, but this weekend was the first time that Geno, Mateo and I visited as a family.  It was so special to literally walk down memory lanes -Dartmouth Place, Francis Ave and Mass Ave -with my beautiful boys in tow.  

I've got this, Mom

LT RU WITH ME?  Sitting on the steps of Andover Hall at HDS

Meeting the very handsome and dapper Baby William, son of my dear friend Amy

Look Mom- I'm climbing!

Law and Order

My personal favorite:  Mom, look, I'm peeing like a city dog!

Back to the square of so many amazing memories

I'm telling you- DO NOT touch John Harvard's foot!  

Mateo's first subway ride- kickin' it on the Orange Line

Widener Library in Harvard Yard...  Does anyone know if that Titantic story is true?

Post Script:  In case you were wondering, the Red Sox thing didn't stick.

Traktor

Well, hello friends.  There's nothing like starting a new job where you do a lot of reading, writing, thinking and talking to make you want to just want to watch Bachelorette (Jef! Jef! Jef!) and drink wine when you get home.  Blog shmlog.

But now that I have my feet under me at work, I'm ready to get back on the recreational writing horse.  Plus, Mateo is going through a major developmental spurt right now, (not to mention a physical growth spurt as well), so it feels like there's kid stuff to document and parental stuff to question myself, (and occasionally others), about.

To re-start us off, I think it's imperative for you to know about an underground world I have discovered thanks to the nimble fingers of my iPhone operating child.

What underground world is that, you ask?  A world that if you care to enter, you will likely feel indebted to me, for life.

And with that understated introduction, I give you Eastern European techno traktors....

Oh wait, you wanted computer generated techno-traktors?  Let me oblige you:

You're so, so welcome.

Vacation Day #3

Do you know what time the picture of this boat was taken?  I'll tell you: 6:45 a.m.  Remember those days when vacation meant sleeping in until noon?  Well, those days are OVAH people.  

That mini-rant aside, Vacation Day #3 was fabulous.  Our friends, the Mosherats, joined us late last night, so we got to spend the whole day doing things like climbing trees, taking harbor cruises, walking along the beach and buying a summer house.

Vacation Day #2

You don't want to know about Vacation Day #1.  Suffice it to say it involved a two year old crying and screaming, "Beach!!!!!" for at least an hour in the car, a husband pulling this car over right now! and me, Ms. Scared of Heights, having to drive over the Verra-frickin-zzano bridge.  The actual going of going on vacation was miserable.

Vacation Day #2 has been a pleasant improvement.  Despite there being a heatwave going on in Connecticut at the moment, the shore of Rhode Island has been much cooler.  So much so that forgetting to bring my jacket meant I *had* to buy a new one.  In the name of health, of course.  (The J.Crew here is called "J.Crew, by the shore."  Talk about marketing genius.)

Newport is the land of festivals: jazz, chowder, beer, and right now, daffodils.  The entire Cliff Walk has huge patches of daffodils planted along the path, which are truly beautiful.  (Weirdly we saw a lot of people picking them.  Um, hello?  Not the point.  Hands off, flower snatchers.)

After alternating between carrying Mateo and trying to keep him from nose-diving off the cliffs, we headed down to the beach to walk around and try to fly our new kite.  As you can see from the pics below, Geno was very successful!

We then ended the day with a feast of lobster quesadillas, oysters, calamari (even Mateo!) and the season's first Sam Summer.  (And as we speak, Geno is happily watching Sunday Night Baseball and cheering on the Yanks.  Shhh, don't tell all the rabid Sox fans around us.)  A definite, definite improvement over yesterday.

Vacation Day #3 will center on the theme TODDLERS GONE WILD, with the arrival of the Mosherats.   Depending on their level of appropriateness for the internet, pics may or may not be forthcoming.

Patience

I have updates - SO many updates.  But they have to wait just a few days more. In the meantime, here are some things to read to keep your mind off the stagnation of my upcoming news:

• The Tyranny of Monolingualism
• Katniss v. Bella
• If I had a son, he would look like Trayvon
• The three fairy godmothers: Health Care, Day Care and Education