Teenager

There are times when I look at Mateo and I think, "Ah, yes.  This is what the future looks like."  

An Open Letter to My Friends

Dear [insert nick name based on some sort of inside joke],

This letter has already been written by someone else, although you personally may not yet have been the recipient.  What I'm about to tell you is not unique to me, but I do hope you will find it genuine, because it is certainly meant that way.

Our friendship matters to me.

I know that I don't call as much as I used to, it's hard to find time to see each other in person, and sometimes even when I say I'll call or try to meet up, I don't.  It's not that I don't want to talk to you or see you, I really, really do.  It's just that most days the inertia of working, parenting and staying happily married overtakes me.  The combination of those three things requires a crazy amount of output, and so when I have the small window of time to call or meet up, I find myself doing something where I can quietly, silently recharge.  (Like writing, or yes, watching inane television.)

I know you know me, and I know you know I'm not an introvert.  So I'm hoping you will know somewhere deep down that this lack of calling and hanging out is not about me at my core, and is most certainly not about you.  It's about a phase.

Or at least that is my hope, because our friendship matters to me.

Please hang in there with me.  I know that may be hard to do, especially if you feel like I'm not reciprocating your efforts.  I fully realize that friendship, like any relationship, takes two people committed to staying together, so I can't blame you if you turn your attention elsewhere as well.  I just hope that our friendship matters to you as well, and you'll keep me in your heart.

You are the chinchilla to my villa, the Paltzgraff to my train platform, the I-O to my Wuh and the civil to my liberties.

Your friend,
N

Snow days

Last winter I almost lost my mind because of the snow. We were slammed with storm after storm, and even for this Midwesterner, it was too much. This year has been an amazing reprieve. (From snow that is, not from freakish weather.) It was even almost getting to the point where we were wondering if Mateo and I were going to get to try out our new snow boots. (Mateo got these, and after close to 284 returns, I finally decided on these.)

Well, the snow gods have finally answered our prayers. It's not a lot of snow by any means, but definitely enough for a little sledding and playing around with the dogs outside. Our boots are starting to get broken in, and Mateo has been kept all snug and warm thanks to a fantabulous hand-me-down snow suit from my dear friend, Julie.

I can't believe I'm going to say this, but, I actually hope we get even more snow. I had a flashback memory to my mom making snow ice cream, and I think it would be a lot of fun to make a batch of our own. (I asked Geno if he thinks that Connecticut snow is clean, and his opinion was that it would be okay unless I used it as my primary water source for 6 weeks. Good to know. If you hear I've croaked because of toxic poisoning, you'll know it was a snow ice cream overdose to blame.)

Take a Shower, Shine Your Shoes

Before I delve into the awesomeness that is having your almost-two year old being obsessed with the band, Dispatch, I want to say another thank you to everyone who took the time to respond to my question about siblings (or lack thereof).  I heard from an amazing number of you, and I am genuinely touched by the thoughts, feelings and stories you shared with me.  I really, really appreciate it.  As for what we decide to do, well, I'll keep you posted. (No, this is not about dispatches from the womb.) :)

Okay, so, now onto Mateo's new raison d'etre.

When Geno turned 35+5 this past October, his brother, Ricardo, gave him a really amazing birthday gift.  He made a donation in Geno's name to the Elias Fund, a non-profit dedicated to "spreading hope and opportunity" in Zimbabwe in order to alleviate poverty.  The history of the fund, which started with a single man, Elias, is intertwined with the band Dispatch, who wrote a song about Elias's dream of sending his sons to college.

And that song, well, that song is Mateo's new theme song.  He and Geno watch the clip below on basically a daily basis, and Mateo sings and plays along on his guitar and/or conga.  (He calls the song, "Happy" in reference to the line, "She looks so proud, she looks so happy.")

Who needs Elmo when you have Zimbabwean children's choir live from Madison Square Garden?

PS- The theme for Mateo's upcoming birthday party is likely going to be "Benefit Concert & Jam Session."  Seriously.  

One or two?

I'm under the impression that there's some sort of internal mechanism that triggers when your kid is almost two. Or maybe it's some sort of switch that flips in everyone around you.  Either way, everyone, including yourself, wants to know:  Will you be keeping or consigning those baby clothes?

I am a planner, a researcher, a list / flowchart / compare & contrast matrix maker.  And so I present you with the qualitative part of my whether-or-not-to-try-to-have-another-kid research.  For any of you who are willing to share, I would *love* to know why you decided to have more than one kid.  Or, why not.  (Let me quickly say that I know that wanting a child does not mean it's a given, so I make no assumptions.)

There are some pretty compelling arguments in all directions, taking all parties into account: the parents, the first kid, the theoretical sibling, and I'm sure in our case, the dogs.  So again, if you're willing to share (either here, on Facebook or with me directly at nic dot ayala at gmail dot com), I'd love to hear your thoughts on how you made the decision to go for it, or why you didn't, or how either decision has impacted your parenting / marriage or partnership / stress level / finances, etc.

In return, let me know what you want researched, and a flowchart shall be yours.

Maria, Maria, Maria Montessori

It's the dawning of the age of... independence (of sorts)!  For the past week we've been gearing up for Mateo to start a toddler Montessori program.  On Saturday, his teacher, Teresa, came to our home to spend some time with Mateo on his own turf and get to know him a little better.  We had a really great afternoon with her, and Mateo immediately started calling her "Titi" (aunt in Spanish).  (We're working on his pronunciation of her actual name.)  Then, on Monday, we visited the school so that Mateo could check out his classroom without all the other kids around.  (The pics below are of our visit.)  Finally, today was the big day to put all the pieces together.

Our original plan was for me to spend an hour with him in the classroom to basically just observe, with no pressure on him to mix it up with the other kids.  Well, Mr. Social Butterfly had other plans.  Not only was he the first kid through the classroom door, but when I told him I was going to leave the classroom (and wait in the lobby), he just looked at me and said, "Bye bye, Mama."  (Cue "Joy - pump it up, pump it up, and Pain.")  

Next stop, college.

The wall of windows

Tulip bulbs are planted and waiting for Spring...

Ah, the proper tools for Te's downward dog

Mateo and Teresa at the window

Checking out the dishes

Te on the playground with the classroom drum in hand, pa rum pa pa pum

Resolution

Before it gets too far away, I feel like 2011 deserves a bit of a recap. Originally I wanted (and started) to write a "year in review" much like I did last year, but a sick kid and the desire to spend every free minute reading The Hunger Games trilogy kept me from putting together a full blown production. So, here's the thumbnail version.

In many ways, 2011 was an amazing year for our family and some of our nearest and dearest. Mateo started walking and talking, my sister finished her Master's degree, we visited Geno's family in PR, and we celebrated the marriages, new babies and professional successes of our friends. But that being said, this year brought heartache for others we love, poor health for some of our family members, challenges on how to balance work, marriage and parenting, and worries about the state of our fragile world. So I guess you can say this year was like any other: full of all of the typical themes that come with human being territory.

As we move into 2012, more of this human-ness is on the horizon. We have some big changes coming up right away that we have sought out, (Mateo starts Montessori "school" this week!), and others that will surely take us by surprise.  To address the latter, one of my New Year's resolutions is to try to be more flexible, which hopefully will make adapting to change at least a little less difficult.

One of the reasons I love New Year's resolutions so much, (apart from the pure joy of list making), is the number of ways you can define "resolution." It can mean a promise to keep; an end; a degree of clarity. As I grow older, I always hope that I am able to better see myself and the world around me, not just for clarity's sake, but in order to better keep my promises and ultimately be a better human.

Cheers to your human-ness as well, and Happy Year!