I Second That Emotion

When I was 5 years old, I remember sitting in my Sunday School class in a teeny tiny chair, listening to our teacher tell us that if we wanted to be like Jesus, (which we did,) we shouldn't ever get angry.  She went on to say that Jesus was perfect, and that meant that he was never ever angry, never ever mean and always said please and thank you.  And once again, if we wanted to be like Jesus, (which we did,) we shouldn't ever get angry or be mean and always be polite.

It's amazing the power that a random Sunday School teacher can wield over an impressionable young mind.  Somehow, those admonitions got branded into my psyche, and despite subsequently learning stories about a very angry Jesus (Take that moneychangers! Matthew 21:12), I began to feel guilty about getting angry.  The kid, teenager and young adult Nicole definitely got angry, believe me, or just ask my sister... but nonetheless, I always had the sense that I was letting Jesus down by having feelings of anger at all.  Let the repression begin!

I mention this not because of my ongoing struggle with religion, but because of an article I just recently read entitled, "Build an Emotionally Safe Home," by Natalie Christensen.  (Unfortunately I can't link you to the article because it's in the current subscription of the magazing, Mothering, and they password protect current articles.)  Basically Ms. Christensen wants parents to help their kids "acknowledge that all feelings are acceptable."  Even anger. 

I totally agree.  Now, please tell me how.

Obviously dealing with feelings of anger is an important personal and interpersonal learning curve, and one that I want to help Mateo with along the way.  (My dad actually had the nice trick of inviting my sister and me down onto the floor to throw a temper tantrum or offering us a pillow to scream into.)  It's going to be challenging, though.  As an adult, I'm still trying to figure out how to express feelings of anger, and it might be something that I work on the rest of my life.  (Outrage is a different story.  There, I'm a professional expresser, if you will.) 

So we'll see who Mateo is and who he becomes.  He might not have the slightest hesitation in letting the world know he is pissed off.  (There is an extreme chance that this will be case.  If you've met Mateo, you know the kid has lungs.)  I kind of hope that's the case.  Of course, that will bring a whole different set of challenges to parenting him.  Either way though, Mateo is definitely going to learn the story of Jesus and the moneychangers, and what the heck, I may even tell him that Jesus always said please and thank you.