Loss

For a Lenten pick-me-up, let's talk about death, grief and loss! 

Watching Glee last night I got to thinking about something that oh so wise Mr. Shuster had to say, which was basically, "The songs that move us most are those that talk about pain."  Often it takes someone else's emoting to help us face our own sorrow.

I know that was especially true for me when I had a miscarriage the year before I had Mateo.  Unlike the death of a grandparent or the end of a relationship, a miscarriage is something that happens privately.  There is no public decree, no email that goes around your workplace, no formal ritual of friends and family to say goodbye.  It can be an intensely lonely place, and in my case, I needed to hear and read about other women's experiences to help me process my own.  It was helpful beyond words to be able to talk with dear friends who went through the same heartache, who understood how confusing and painful it is to say goodbye just as you have started to get your mind around saying hello.

And so, for that reason, amidst all the sharing I have done about the absolute joy of parenthood, I want to say that there was struggle in getting there.  I want to say that grieving in private, even if that private includes close friends and family, is really hard.  And I think it's crucial to say that no matter what your politics are, there is hope and potential and love bound up in the dream of a child. 

If these words can bring any comfort, support or solidarity, I'm grateful.  If you would like me to sing them to you, let me know. :)