Birth Day

Querido Mateo,

The day you were born was the most amazing day of our lives.  You weren't slated to show up until March 12th, but in the dark, early hours of Tuesday, March 2nd, you started making your way into the world.  When your dad's alarm went off at 5am, I woke up too and got up to use the bathroom.  I'm sure this will embarrass you someday, but you gotta know, I was not clear on whether or not I had stopped peeing.  So, I went back to bed.   Three changes of clothes and the beginning of regular contractions later, it became pretty clear that my water broke.  (I had always thought that my water breaking would be this big dramatic, totally identifiable thing, but as it turned out, not so much.)

After calling our doctor, Dr. Kenia Mansilla Rivera, and agreeing to meet at her office at 8am, your dad and I had breakfast together and watched the sunrise.  It was a sunny, clear, beautiful day and watching the sun light up the world was such a perfect illustration of how we were feeling: full of hope and illumination.

By mid-morning we had been admitted into the hospital and my contractions were starting to get stronger and closer together.  Early in the day it was basically just me, your dad and our nurse, Gina, spending time together, but by mid-day your aunt, Deborah, had arrived from Vermont.  (We called all your grandparents, aunts and uncles, and everyone started making travel plans.)

As labor got more intense, I rocked in the rocking chair, walked around our room and had your dad rub my back.  Finally, though, circa 2pm and 7cm, after almost accidentally knocking out your dad when a particularly strong contraction left my arms flailing, I called in the reinforcements, aka the anesthesiologist.  Getting an epidural was great in many ways, as it allowed me to rest, but it definitely slowed things down.

Throughout the afternoon I was checked, checked and checked, and finally at 6:30pm, Dr. Kenia said that it would soon be time to push.  By this time, the sun had set, and our room was lit only by soft lamps.  We brought music with us, and it was truly one of the most relaxing, homey experiences I have ever had. 

Finally, at 7:45pm, it was time to get the show on the road.  Gina, our nurse, had her shift end at 7pm, so a new nurse, Kim, arrived, and with her brought all the positivity and warmth you could ask for.  It was actually a very full room- in addition to me, your dad, Titi Deborah, Abuela, Kim and Dr. Kenia, there were also two medical students and another doctor, Dr. Elissa Freedman.  Despite the crowd, it actually felt intimate, and the energy in the room was perfect. 

So, once everyone assembled, I pushed and pushed and pushed for over two hours.  Thanks to having the epidural, it was hard work, but not painful.  As each contraction came, the med students held my legs, and in between we laughed, joked, and I regaled them with stories of Kourtney Kardashian's televised birth.  (Don't ask.) 

You definitely weren't in any hurry to head out into the world (btw, thanks for leading with your head,) but FINALLY at 9:50pm, with one final push, you were born!  I can barely describe the adrenaline, emotion and pure JOY of that moment.  I had always thought that I would sob, given that I'm perhaps one of the easiest cryers in the world, but believe it or not, I did not shed a single tear.  (You should not be shocked to learn that your father, the world's most dedicated non-cryer, did not cry either.)  Please don't think that means anything though- as we could not have been more emotional in that moment.

As Dr. Kenia lifted you up, Kim covered you in a blanket and handed to you to your dad, who then handed you to me.  This moment, is one I will treasure forever.

Thank you for coming into this world and being exactly what your name means, a gift from God.

Happy birthday beautiful boy,
I love you,
Mami