17 Months

Querido Mateo,

Earlier this week you hit 17 months, and let me tell you, July was off the hook. 

Let's run down the high (and low) lights:  First sprinkler experience on the 4th of July, the now infamous trip to Puerto Rico, a heatwave, a febrile seizure & trip to the ER, an up close and personal greeting of the concrete with your forehead and nose, tons of quality time with Dad, being left by your parents for 5ish days, lots of time with your cousins and a visit from your grandparents.

Through it all, though, you have been such an amazing little trooper.  Even when you were so, so sick, you made a point of lifting your head off of Dad's shoulder to say "hola" to the ER nurse.  You start most days by "singing" (you like to make up your own tunes, but I think one is oddly close to the Barney theme song, which is interesting, because you don't watch tv), and similarly end the day by humming to me as we rock in the dark. 

Of course, you're not always a happy camper.  This month you started to embrace your independence, and there has been a significant uptick in meltdowns.  You get really frustrated by not knowing the word for something you want, and likewise when something desirable is out of reach.  I can already hear adumbrations of "Do it by myself!"  This new phase of yours also means a new phase for us as your parents, and it has already been challenging to figure out how to best handle your new toddler lifestyle.  (More on that later in the week).  It's a vortex of wonderful, hard, exhausting and exhilarating all at once.

At the end of the day, though, it's all about being a family.

Te amo,
Mama

Traveling Mercies Part Deux

I may have been on an airplane in July more than I was in my car.  (Hooray?)  Our first family trip to Puerto Rico was such a joy, and quickly followed by the first trip that Geno and I have taken without Mateo.  The trip was brought about because I had the honor of officiating the wedding of our dear friends, Kate & Per, (or KaPer, as they are now known,) in the beautiful city of Portland, Oregon. 

At first we thought we would bring Mateo along with us, but given the amount of wedding responsibilities I had and the inability of any family members to come play babysitter, we decided to leave him at home.  As fortune would have it, my parents were actually on the east coast to visit my sister, so in our absence Mateo got to be entertained by both sets of grandparents, aunts, an uncle and all his cousins.  Lucky kid.

Spending 5 days and 4 nights apart from Mateo was definitely hard on us, (especially since we were so far away and he had been quite sick earlier in the week), but it was also wonderful to have time just to ourselves.  We each celebrated in our own unique way:  Geno went for long runs and watched the Yankees while lying in bed.  I took 45 minutes to blow dry my hair.  Ah, the freedom.  (Of course we also enjoyed getting to have long talks, seated dinners, plenty of sleep and by-choice late nights.)

All in all, the trip was great, and I think that it was good for the three of us to figure out how to function outside of our usual nuclear family routine.  And, in addition to learning more about who I am, who Geno is, and who we are as a couple, I was also forced to get my parenting ducks in a row.  Preparing to leave Mateo meant doing the following:

• Creating an emergency medical treatment authorization.  This form gives the caregivers of your choice the ability to make medical decisions for your kid when he or she is not in your direct care.  (You can make it time specific or open-ended.)
• Talking to our family members about what we would want for Mateo's care in the event that something happened to both of us.  Yes, I know this is really morbid, and yes, as an attorney, I'm painfully aware of the fact that we don't have this spelled out in a will.  (That's on my next to-do list.)  (Also, just fyi,  if your kid has godparents, this role in and of itself does not give them legal standing in terms of custody.  You actually need to put your wishes in a will, otherwise state law will determine custody by next-of-kin rules.)  Nonetheless, despite being a tough conversation, I'm really glad we did it.  No discomfort outweighs the relief of knowing that we are doing all we can to look out for Mateo.
• Putting together a little morning and evening checklist for his antibiotics doses.  I know that I sometimes have a hard time keeping track of giving myself medicine, so I figured it would make it easier on the grandma's to have a little box to check-off each morning and evening. 

Happily, only the checklist got put to use!

Guitar Hero

Have you ever dreamed about sitting around a campfire on the beach with all your close friends and being the cool person who whips out her guitar and then suddenly everyone spontaneously joins in a sing-a-long of "No Woman, No Cry?"  Or maybe its your backyard fire pit with your fam and the sing-a-long is a little more "The Wheels on the Bus" oriented.

At any rate, I have this dream.

You could definitely say that I come by it honestly.  Yes, I can read music and took piano lessons for approximately 47 years, but the real tie-in lies with my parents.  Of course.

When my sister and I were very little, my dad was the mandolin and occasional bass player for the Rising Creek Bluegrass Band.  Then, when we got a bit older, both he and my mom (who plays guitar) formed a bluegrass / folk band with their friends called The Heartland String Band.  (They would practice at our house on regular basis, which was pure heaven, because it was the only time Doritos were ever allowed in the house.  I freakin' loved "band night.")  Now they are in a new folk band that is all the rage in Western Kansas nursing homes, Rotary Club meetings and UCC churches.  (I think their name is "What's for Dinner," but it could also be "Just for Fun."  Or maybe it's "Rusty Nail"...  I can't keep up.)

So not only have my parents always been in some type of band, but my mom has played classical guitar for approximately 2/3 of her life.  I have really fond memories of playing with the latches on her guitar case as she plucked away at note after note, sending scales, arpeggios and classical melodies throughout our house.

And now, after telling my parents about my interest in playing the guitar, I am the proud "owner" of my mother's vintage Yamaha 3/4 classical guitar.  (It's on permanent loan until I decide to take up the marimba.)

See you at the campfire!

Traveling Mercies

As many (all?) of you know, we just got back from a trip to Puerto Rico to visit Geno's familia.  Traveling long distances with a 16 month old is no small feat, but thanks to the makers of items like ziploc bags, white noise iPhone apps and press-on window shades, we made it through.

We flew with Mateo last year to Virginia Beach, so he had technically been on a plane before, but this trip was definitely longer and more of an adventure given his squirminess and mobility.  In advance of our flight I did a lot of research, both in talking to friends and looking up random tips online, in order to make the trip as smooth as possible.  Almost all of the advice I received got put to use, so thanks pals for your wisdom.

In that same vein, here are some ideas and observations that I'd like to share for whatever they are worth:

• Whole milk is practically impossible to find in an airport.  I love that fast food restaurants are all about fighting obesity (ha), but what's wrong with a fatty milk option when you're selling fatty sandwiches and fries?  Once again, Starbucks, you brought peace to my family.
• Ziploc, ziploc, ziploc.  I can't remember who suggested to me the brilliant idea of putting a single diaper, small package of wipes and bio-bag in a ziploc to bring into the tiny airplane restrooms for a diaper change, but you deserve a Nobel prize of some sort.  (Making things work in cramped spaces is an art, so it was probably one of my NYC friends.)
• Even if you're going to a very, very hot place, bring many different types of pajamas.  You just never know what kind of crazy air-conditioning antics might occur.

It definitely took a lot of effort to be well prepared to travel with Mateo, but I can't say enough about how much it was worth.  This trip could very well have been the most amazing I've ever been on, in part because of how much Mateo *loved* it.  There is something incomparable about seeing joy and excitement in the face of your child.  Next stop, New Zealand.

15 & 16 Months

Dear Mateo,

Apologies for the missed month, but I figured you knew where to find me if you really needed a timely synopsis of May.

So, wow, you are NOT a baby, kid.  You are a full on walking, talking, stumbling, bumbling toddler.  In May you finally let go of our hands and decided to go all solo-biped on us.  Like all little ones, your initial walking was very zombie like.  Check this out:

But now, wow- look at you go!

You LOVE to be outside, and perish the thought of wind, rain or thunder getting in the way of you be afuera.  Thank goodness the weather has been relatively cooperative, because I'm personally not so in to being on a playground during thunderstorms.  (By the way, you sleep through thunder.  It shocks me.)

I think one of the reasons you like being outside so much is because it tends to be where the people action is...  You have been very social since you were born, but now that you can run after other children, you want to interact even more.  There was one moment, (captured nowhere on film or video, but forever in my heart), where at a picnic with friends you walked on over to a group of 10 year olds and just stood in a circle with them, hanging out.  It slayed me.  

And speaking of friends and family, we were so lucky to get an extended visit from your grandparents in June.  You were all over them, and got to spend some truly quality time doing things like hanging out on the playground and petting caged animals. 

As we head into July, we're gearing up for a BIG trip to Puerto Rico to visit your great-grandmother and lots of cousins.  I'm afraid that the plane ride may be more of a challenge than last year's trip to Virginia Beach when you were just 5 months, but hopefully we can sufficiently distract you with promises of all-you-can-eat rice & beans.  I'm also hopeful that the airline will believe me that you're just 16 months old, because holy cow, you have long legs, my friend.

Here's to another month, my love.

Mamamamamama

Damned if you do...

Alright, people, I'm back.  I worked through my blog-estential crisis, and I've come to the conclusion that I don't need to be "viable."  Phew.  Pressure's off; so let's get typing.

Did you see the article this week on How to Talk to Little Girls?  Or how about How to Land Your Kid in Therapy?  Both are really great food for thought.

The first, which reminds us of the media and culture generated obsession with women's appearances, made me think a lot about my own childhood.  Interestingly, as the child of two feminist parents straight out of the 60's, I actually received the message over and over again that looks don't matter at all.

One day, circa second grade, I came home from the playground and was so excited to tell my mom about this great new cheer I had learned from my older (female) neighbor:

"Firecracker, firecracker, boom, boom, boom!  Firecracker, firecracker, boom, boom, boom!  Men have the muscles, teachers have the brains, but girls have the sexy legs, so they win the game!"

I think my mother's head almost exploded.  To this day, I think it's the angriest I have ever seen her.  Of course we then talked about how these were stereotypes, and how women are smart and have muscles too.  What also got communicated to me, although inadvertently, was that being sexy was bad.

Which brings me to the second article I mention above, which delves into the pitfalls of parents doing too much to shelter their children, and the resulting dearth of kid's coping skills.  As one of my friends who also read the article said, sometimes it feels like no matter what you do (or don't do) you will somehow give your children issues.

So, then, what issues shall they be?

Breast is Best, But Good Lord, I Need a Rest

After just over a year, I brought my pump home from work today for good.  I took the sign off my door that read, "If door is closed, please check back in 15 minutes," and opened the blinds on my internal office window that have been shut for the past 12 months, 1 week and 5 days.  

How does this make me feel?  In a word: halle-fricking-lu-jah!

Now, I will admit, I'm not done nursing.  Morning and bedtime sessions will still be on the agenda for at least one to two more months, which I am completely okay with... But not pumping at work anymore?  That is something that I am completely okay with bidding adieu.

So as our little family enters this new chapter, we would appreciate tips on how not to go broke while buying ungodly amounts of organic whole milk.  Thanks in advance.